Comments on: Are You An Alienating Parent?

By: Michelle Thomas

Michelle Thomas — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 19:23:00 +0000

I wish my ex was like you fathers who want their children! We waited 18 years for our little boy and he went and had an affair! He promised to maintain contact on a fortnightly basis but soon got fed up of that and he’s bn arguing monthly! We made an arrangement for overnights at his mothers but the next month said he didn’t want steffan overnight cos he didn’t get any sleep! So the battle continues every suggestion is unreasonable to him! I have now offered visitation when he like but no partners but he would rather not see his son than agree to that! Offered him Xmas day access and he refused saying to far to travel!! Not all us mums ate bad

By: Michelle Thomas

Michelle Thomas — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 19:14:49 +0000

I wish my ex husband was like you all! We waited 18 years for our little boy and he’s just thrown it away!! I desperately want him to see his son and have been fighting for him to see him more often he’s fighting me for less!! He hasn’t seen his child in five months and never asks about him but blames me for everything!! He is in a relationship which started as an affair and when he left we promised no partners be introduced for a year or so!! He now won’t agree with this and is sacrificing contact! I offered him contact Xmas day and he refused saying it was to far to travel to see his son!!

Just wanted you to know not all mothers are selfish!! I have done trying now!!

By: teresa

teresa — Sat, 22 Dec 2012 12:47:13 +0000

My partner has the same issues with his ex shes broke every court order obtained over a 6 year battle and the courts haven’t enforced them or punished her blatent disregard for the law infact they have ALLOWED her to continue this emotional abuse 2 innocent boys. Still to this day she doesn’t allow access is verbally abusive to my partner infront of the children.
I was a child in a similar situation when i was growing up my mother was a very bitter woman i had a hard emotional childhood full of unhappiness and awarkedness because when i was allowed to see my father he was a stranger :O( mothers need to love thier children more than they hate their ex!

By: David

David — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 18:25:44 +0000

I too am having issues with the mother of my daughter, she turns 1 today, but I can’t even see her because she’s got 4 other kids from different fathers (who for various reasons don’t see them). I have a court order to see her two times a week for 2 hours but I have to see her on the mother’s schedule and god help me if I have to cancel because I’m stuck working overtime or I’m too sick to see her. She also abuses me over Facebook and it’s soul crushing to me to know that she has all the power and my daughter is losing out because of it.

By: Paul

Paul — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 02:43:21 +0000

My son has a daughter who is 5 years old, more or less from the day she was born the mother used the baby as an emotional weapon, to hurt my son and us a grandparents. The mother of our granddaughter is a controlling, manipulative person who can also be quite violent; and nowadays she has a new boyfriend that has recently got out of prison who she uses as a threat in the background. Over the years we have seen hundreds of abusive and threatening texts that my son has received from her and more recently the new boyfriend as well. Over the years also the mother would constantly leave my granddaughter with her friends and family members so my son would turn up to collect his daughter only to be told he has to collect her from someone else (people he doesn’t know). Often the mother would have friends with her at her flat when he arrives to collect his daughter; and the mother and these friends would verbally abuse and belittle him in front of his daughter.

For the most part my son gets to see his daughter once every 2 weeks or so (which I know doesn’t sound too bad) however he is not allowed to call his daughter when she is with her mother but the mother calls my son to control and bully him continuously when my granddaughter is with him.

The mother bullies my son into providing a lot more money than he should do; and it seems that overall if my son complies with her demands then things stay on an “even keel” but as soon as he tries to stand up to mother, she flies off the handle and he gets a threat from the mother’s boyfriend.

It is really hard to take seeing my son bullied like this, I have stood up to the mother and her new boyfriend (not in a physically confrontational, provocative way) to show my son some support, but as the mother of my granddaughter this nasty woman seems to “have all the aces”

By: ksd

ksd — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 20:15:52 +0000

I have a 7 months old daughter who is the best thing ever happened to me…. i love my daughter a lot and is my weak point !!!my wife use this to her advantage as whenever there is an argument or something she does not like; she takes my daughter away for weeks and deny access my making escuses that she is busy with relatives, she has back problem, baby is sleeping, feeding now etc etc.. very vindictive and this hurts…

its been 4 weeks since my daughter is back to her home… my wife tells me she will only come back when her back problems are sorted as she gets help from her mother… the interesting thing here is although she has back problem and quotes that she is just having rest at her parents ; i also know that she has gone to work and attending friends functions etc.. where is the back problem now? where is the rest?

When she does allow me to see my daughter -it will be on the provision that i can not take the daughter away from house. I recently told her that ok fine why do not you sort out your back and i will take leave from work and take care of daughter instead… obviously she said NO straightaway… I am very hurt and like most people do not have much left in the bank after paying all the bills and mortgage! I dont know what to do as my inlaws have refused me to come to their house on an argument over my daughters care… very interfering inlaws i have say… perhaps the problem in our marriage and this now. I feel extremely frustated that Gosh! what have i done wrong in life that as a father can not even see my smily baby’s face whenever i want.. shame! Any suggestions here please?

By: James Brennan

James Brennan — Mon, 01 Oct 2012 14:32:37 +0000

My 2 daughters have been held from me for do many reasons the past 9 months she has use the court system to file false allegations of sexual abuse. This of course halts the process. Now we have her 4th time going in front of our custody judge. My heart aches I love my daughters. I pay my support. I take care of my children. Where is my equality? Where are my rights?

By: sammy

sammy — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 10:31:38 +0000

My cousin is having the same problem at the moment. he lived in london and him n the ex split (mutual agreement) he now lives in liverpool renting a room from me. he needed away because of the area he was in, wanted a decent life n job. now the ex wont let him have the kid at all, not even one weekend since he left, when he goes to visit he has to sit in her house, in front of her. all he wants is to take her to the park! he is not allowed. she says hes not allowed the kid her because she doesnt know who hel have her around, he has explained that we are only family and no one else. well he has went to vist and whilst there has found out that the ex now has a new partner but wont tell him who it is. and he found drugs in the house, she has the kids out at all hours so she can get drunk. all he wants to know is if his kid is safe, he isnt bothered that she has a new bf, but he wants to knw who is going to be living with his daughter. i dont think that is asking to much. he is getting to the point that he wants to take the child away from the mother. social work have been involved and they did nothing, as usual. we are trying to get the money together for a lawyer, but it is taking a while, even with no court order the mother should still get in trouble for stopping the father having a relationship with his daughter, especially when the mother isnt looking after the child properly. the law is a joke!

By: Wes

Wes — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 05:03:00 +0000

@kia, you can’t assume that there is a valid reason like drug abuse or violence when it’s alleged, and all you need to do is go back to the tale of the little shepherd boy who cried ‘wolf.’ If you have a good arrangement, good on you, that’s great, it probably means you’re a reasonably sane level-headed woman who sees the benefit to the child and acts properly in that regard. However, it’s for precisely that reason that you “don’t understand” (your exact words). I suggest you don’t understand precisely because you don’t have the psychopathology that leads so many women to behave in child-destructive ways. You don’t feel a pathological desire for revenge for imagined faults. You are capable of allowing the children to love their father without irrationally imagining that it somehow decreases the amount of love they have for you. You don’t feel the need to make them love a stepfather who must replace the man who couldn’t see the intrinsic perfection that you believe you possess, which belief was undermined by the man who baled after he figured out who you really are. Rejoice that you don’t understand, but don’t assume blame lies where people who do understand tend to place it.

By: kia

kia — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 20:14:38 +0000

I don’t understand how any mum would stop there child seeing the other parent, well unless there is violence drug abuse or a proper valid reason to worry about there childs care whilst with the other parent!. My daughter loves her time with her dad and we have a good arrangement, I may be selfish but it also gives me time off. So smiles all round. Your child won’t forgive you for not allowing access and a decent amount at that.. They soon grow up and get there own minds. Is a shame couse a lot of dads pout there have a lot to give and aren’t being aloud the chance to do so 🙁