Comments on: About

By: WilliWills

WilliWills — Thu, 23 May 2013 07:40:14 +0000

My son and his partner split up just before Christmas. He found nude photos of her and her new boyfriend on her phone. She eventually left with their 18 month old daughter and since then he has paid maintenance faithfully every month. She wont let him see her and she wont let us, the grandparents see her either. There’s not a lot I can do about it. We are heartbroken, she is such a lovely little girl and so bright, she has probably forgotten who we are by now.
The worst thing is my son is in bits and she just laughs and asks for more money!
I wish I could make things alright for my son and for our little grandaughter.
I doubt if the legal side of things will change, its too slow and behind the times.

By: Melanie Kenny

Melanie Kenny — Sun, 19 May 2013 01:26:31 +0000

Please help – we are the grandparents of a beautiful grandson called Harry – my son is doing everything to stay in contact with him but the mother will ignore phone messages and texts when he is trying to contact her about the welfare of his son – his only crime is not wanting to be with her because of her mental state – she is very controlling. She is very vengeful and as she can’t control my son she is trying to split us up as a family. We are at our wits end and are trying to be supportive for our son but are staeling ourselves for not seeing him again. He is 12 months old! These laws have to change! It is heartbreaking to see our son so upset! We as parents have aged years over this – we so want to see our grandson but know the systen is against us and by going to court we cold make thigs worse. Please, please help!

By: Nisha

Nisha — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 05:08:53 +0000

thats whats up their taking care of their kids and julez was right some dudes act like its wrong or weak to show their male child affection they stepping up to the plate and taking care of their children and 2 #11 u know u did wrong for talking about big boi daughter chest dudes these days just stupid n e ways happy fathers day to all the REAL fathers

By: concerned mother

concerned mother — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:53:44 +0000

im a mother of 2 boys. over the last 2 and a half years i have been trying my best to allow the father of them to have access. arranging one night over weekends when he had a house suitable even making sure i dropped them off as to not put there father out of pocket even when he was not paying any form of maintenance. to ensure they had time with there dad. then i kept getting oh i cant have them this weekend when he met a new partner. to find he was telling friends that i was refusing him access. then his partner and him split and he moved in to a shared house with no sleeping space for the children so i agreed with his choice of not having them over night. so arranged for him to have access over weekend during the day and one evening a week after school at my house as this was simplest for him and less distressing for the children. then this started to go wrong him not turing up at weekends not letting me know so i can tell the kids he was not turning up and why. then failing to turn up in the week aswell even though he has to pass my house on his way home from work. now his failing to turn up is happening at least once a week if not completely all week this week for example he couldnt make it yesterday for a medical reason. so asked if he could see them today instead. i agreed said np ill change my plans round. to get a message when he is ment to arrive saying he cannot make it tonight he will be there the next day. as much as i want my kids to have access with there father i feel now that i am pushing the access on him and he doesnt actually care. this sort of behavior has been going on for a year. can any of the fathers out there offer me any advice regarding his lack of understanding of children s needs. where do you draw the line at allowing the fathers access when they are consistently letting down there children ? firends have told me to remove his access and force him to go through court to get it back if he even cares.
any advice to get him to understand what this iss doing to the kids would be welcomed i dont want to remove his access the kids need there dad but i cant keep dealing with seeing them upset because he lets them down

By: fedupdad

fedupdad — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:02:47 +0000

I find it quite incredible that this day and age fathers have no rights and i wouldn’t have believed it if i hadn’t been through it. Briefly divorced 6 years ago my ex has never allowed me regular access. Then she moved away 50 odd miles to be with her partner and never told me. Usual crap mediation, solicitors got nowhere and still no regular access. Obviously i am paying maintenance and have never missed a payment, then this year csa fabricated some arrears on my account and she thinks she is inline for a £1400 payout. I fought it and won got a letter of apology and compensation out of them. So i am quite jubilant she is less so. The result being i unfortunatly saw alot of comments made about me on a social networking website from my kids none of them very pleasant!! and mainly stirred up by my ex. I thought it was odd my kids wouldn’t answer their phones or return my calls.
I am unsure of what to do next, i have been fighting her and the csa for the last 6 years and am very tired of it i now wish i had paid the dam money and still had some sort of relationship with my kids even if it was just see me to see what they can get out of me.
I was due to have them this christmas that isn’t happening now, their choice, as i am apparently useless and they wish they had a proper dad…….life sucks then it gets worse.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 01:37:18 +0000

Hi,would love some advice . Me and the father seperated when I was 5months pregnant.heonly contacted me 6days before birth as he says the penny finally dropped he was going to be a dad. my daughters 9weeks old I have never stopped contact but out of his choice has only seen her 1hr15minutes altogether.last time he saw her he was 40mins late no explanation amd the time before that he stayed under an hour swearing at me while holding my daught before hsnding her back to me and exiting in a rage.i originally split from him because of his aggression. In the past wjen sje was a couple weeks old he was even tjreatenimg to come by at 10pm!!! It hurts me that theres geniune fathets out there but he doesmt seem to give a dam he has never supported us either. I am thinking of stopping access purely so authorities will get involved if he chooses to so regular comtact can be set up if he wants it as at the moment he is too inconsistant and after me calmy speaking to him his behaviour is unacceptable he doesnt acknowledge it.what are your thoughts? Sorry for typos on my phone

By: allison

allison — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 11:56:46 +0000

hi my parnter has 2 fantistic kids who he loves very much.he is ment to see kids twice aweek and gets them over nite once every second sat.the problem is his ex who has been poising the kids minds by telling them lies.and now both kids dont want to see there dad he cant afford to go and see a lawyer as he works and only gets the min wage after he pays csa for them is there anything he can do to without him having to go back to see a lawyer.he is so down that im worried that he mite do somthing to him self can anyone give him some advice on wot he can do.he has tryed speaking to his ex but she wont give him the time of day.she has told the kids lies and now they refuse to see there dad.is there anything he can do without him having to go and see a lawyer

By: Gavin

Gavin — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 23:38:08 +0000

To Mum (23rd Oct): Yes, you’re spot on, it’s the kids’ right to have relationships with both parents and their best interests should be paramount. Why is it automatically assumed that the mother is the provider of a child’s “best interests”? Let’s not deny that when a relationship ends the mother will almost always be the primary carer for the kid(s) whether the father likes it or not. This then puts the mother in a position to dictate when and how the father will see his kid(s), if at all. Bearing in mind that the courts will seldomly remove a child from its mother (maybe in cases of abuse, neglect or if the mother is physically or mentally unable), the father is then at the mercy of his ex or the courts to decide contact.
I’m assuming that if a father has done something to warrant not seeing his kids that social services, the cops or midwife/health visitor have been informed and it’s officially noted. Making spurious allegations against any father so that he can’t see his kids is just downright despicable!

By: Gavin

Gavin — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 23:20:05 +0000

Can someone please, please help. I went to collect my kids at their creche at the usual time and – no kids. My wife has gone to court and apparently got an emergency court order to deny me access — out of the blue — I don’t know what’s going on. Has anybody got any advice ? I really need your help . Thank you.

Was there a court order in place granting you access to your kids? Maybe it would be worthwhile trying to talk to your wife and explain your feelings. I know it’s difficult but staying calm and rational is the best option. Definitely get in touch with a lawyer for some legal advice, you need it since she has initiated court proceedings. She must have some reason (whether bulls@*t or not) to have obtained a court order, only by trying to talk to her and get to the heart of the matter will you have any chance. That’s assuming she’s a sensible, rational individual though!

If that doesn’t work then hopefully you can lodge defences against the interdict and have it removed. Good luck.

By: Kris Fazzani

Kris Fazzani — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 17:02:47 +0000

Hi All
I have been an absent father for 13 yrs and it has been a struggle to get to see my daughter. it has been the hardest thing ive ever done and with no help from the law of this land it was down to me to persist and eventually i have after 12 yrs got good access to my daughter and we have an amazing relationship.
I got married 3 yrs ago to a new woman and had 2 lovely boys and now the whole process starts again? i hope not.
Dont give up your children need you!!!!!!