Think about the following statements that a child might say:
I don’t want to go to school today.
I don’t want to do my home work.
I don’t want to tidy my room.
I don’t want to go to bed.
I don’t want to brush my teeth today.
In each of these cases most normal, responsible parents would explain to a child that these are necessary things to do, not only because you should, but because it is in the childs’ best interest and it also teaches them discipline.
Now I imagine most parents, if not all would agree to that.
Now let’s take the following statements a child may make:
I don’t want to go and see dad today.
I don’t want to see dad on christmas/birthdays.
Again, most parents i am sure would explain to a child why it is in their best interests to see their other parent and help them with any feelings surrounding this, as with the first set of questions regarding school, bed etc.
Unfortunately for tens of thousands of fathers in the UK, they are faced with alienating parents, this is a parent that uses their own selfish reasons to stop or disrupt contact between a father and his child.
I get to see my child once every month, yes that’s right once a month. When people ask me why I cannot give them a reasonable explanation, except for the fact that the mother is either jealous, angry, selfish or some other reason to which I have no knowledge.
All I know is that when my child is with me she is happy and we have a great time together just like any other parent, except that I know that I will have to face another 28-31 days before I get to see my child.
Having been in court for 7 years, battled with 6 differnet judges I am reduced to being a stranger in my child’s life.
I have a court order that states the mother must allow me contact with my child every Tuesday and every Sunday on Skype, but about 90% of the time this never happens because her phone is switched off or she never comes online to chat.
Now, of course when I confront her mother, I get told that she does not manage her daughter’s phone, or that it is not her responsibility as a mother to make her daughter phone me.
Now, going back to those simple questions above, surely this is conscious alienation by a vindictive mother, there can be no other explanation surely?
Suddenly, over the past few months she is showing signs of being reasonable but here I am today waiting excitedly to speak to my daughter but nothing, no word, no text, no call nothing, just me sitting watching and waiting and hoping to see my daughter’s face over the internet to give me some peace of mind that she is safe and weel, but of course I am just a father right, we don’t care do we because we are men?
For the past 7 years I have met and listed to thousands of fathers break down while they recount their stories, mostly all faced with a similar type of person (mother), someone who claims to care about their child but sees no problem in deciding that their child will have little or no contact with the father of their child, all because they separated and the only chance they have of hurting that person, is by hurting their child in the long-term also.
Some mothers may plead ignorance but there are thousands of websites like this one that have factual evidence that alienation from any parent is damaging and in most cases will cause emotional problems in that child later on in life.
I, as a parent could never intentionally harm my child, but it’s amazing how many mothers sleep well at night knowing full well they are willingly damaging their children.
My heart goes out to my daughter and all those brave fathers that have to deal with the most heart-wrenching situation most people will ever haver to face, the loss of a child, despite knowing they could be just a few metres or miles away.