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David Mortimer
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The problem is not the law but how it’s applied.
Judges can not prove that they act in the best interest of children because they do not keep any records on the long term ‘out comes’ of the decisions they make about children’s lives in secrete using debunked ideology & half the knowledge required on domestic violence to make a safe & informed decision.
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David Mortimer
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Are government policies designed to divide & concur in order to keep control by creating state dependency with impunity at tax payers expense? If so, do not let them divide us. Our children are our future. Change will come from the will of good men & women who will not sit ideally bye & do nothing.
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David Mortimer
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Gender specific domestic violence policies both create & maintain a cycle of abuse in society. The government claim there aim is to reduce domestic violence so much so they give over 50 million a year to group’s which provide the help & support to female victims of domestic violence & their children. There are refuges in every town right across the UK. What Women’s Aid claim seems to be accepted as fact by government. One stupid Judge said to me “why would she say it if it wasn’t true? I said because my Ex wife told her how the family court are compelled to protect a child from possible harm & given it could put a child at risk they have no choice under what is claim to be acting in the child’s best interest. I say let them prove what they are doing in the family courts on a daily basis is in the best interests of the children in the UK.
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David Mortimer
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False allegations of domestic violence and child abuse are used in the family courts on a daily basis right across the country by resident parents (mothers in the vast majority of cases) to dictate the outcome of contact and residence applications with impunity.
The family courts view separating couples as two legal components: the ‘resident parent’ and the ‘non-resident parent’ (who does not live with the child). Although these two legal concepts might sound similar they are treated completely differently in the family courts. The only legal right a non-resident parent has is they can apply to the courts for contact. They do not have any other significant or presumptive rights over their children.
Most people believe they have the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law if they were accused of domestic violence or child abuse given they are criminal offences. However, this principle only applies in criminal trials which have to prove a person is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. It does not apply in the family courts which are civil proceedings where the best interest test is applied to all decisions which are made on a balance of probability.
Family court judges do not believe it would be in a child’s best interest to question what the resident parent has said (to see if it is true or not) because they claim do so would undermind their authority as the primary care giver. You might wonder how any decision could ever be reasonably considered as safe and in a child’s best interests if they do not check.
As a result of being separated from the father, children are placed at higher risk of child abuse, academic difficulties, conduct problems, and involvement with the criminal justice system.
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David Mortimer
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I proposed statistical research into outcomes for children whose children’s
parents went through divorce under a particular judge. Although there is no
support for such research, all available evidence tells us that a large
proportion of people in prison were cut off form their fathers when young.
Truanting increased threefold, along with suicide, drug abuse, running away
form home, teenage pregnancy. However, I knew long ago that research into
outcomes should be unhooked from cutting off the father. If one judge caused
far worse outcome than another, or one social worker worse than another, we
would know that the first judge was damaging children. Of course, he might
be doing this by cutting off the father, but it might be for some other
reason in his procedures.
What is extraordinary, and what demonstrates how difficult and complex our
problem is, is that only now, after decades, I realised that judges should
welcome such research. I assumed judges would put the avoidance of
accountability first. However, at least some judges will be reasonable and
well meaning, only causing damage due to their wrong ideology, for instance
their belief in falsified statistics on domestic violence. They would learn
to change their behaviour as a result of such research, and perhaps all
judges would prefer to damage less children.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000607868251&ref=tn_tnmn#!/profile.php?id=100000607868251
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David Mortimer
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Where is the proof that sole residency is in the best interests of children following separation or divorce? No one in the UK government can provide any. A fatherless society will make us all victims in the end. The tender years theory is the root of the problem because it discriminates against fathers.
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David Mortimer
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A fatherless society will make us all victims in the end. The tender years theory is the root of the problem because it discriminates against fathers.
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David Mortimer
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“The problem has always been the hi jacking by the feminist movement of domestic violence issue in order to fund their ideology. Demonising men is a billion dollar industry world wide. The damage is incalculable”.
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David Mortimer
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When enough people have published their case histories it will prove that we have all had the same problems with the same people & it will allow us to demand real change & redress.
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David Mortimer
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Target Judges.
Had Matt O’Connor not existed, there would have been the same lack of progress.
The central problem is contained in my epigram; “An excluded father would rather lose his children, his home and his future income rather than think.”
It was helpful for Matt to bring together excluded fathers in big numbers, because it gave me the chance to see, by talking with them in their Father Christmas uniform…
s, how little they knew about the subject they were campaigning over.
The desire of excluded fathers to gain sympathy and understanding is debilitating.
Someone in the present emails referred to Power. The key issue is Power. When Tower Bridge was closed for a day or two, I told Matt we would have to close all Motorways into London for 24 hours to have any effect, and he agreed. whereas the cost of closing Tower Bridge was perhaps £5 million, we would have to impose a cost of £1 billion.
As I said in the last few days, since our children suffer, it is not really “unfair” to target a couple of judges, since they are causing so much damage, along with the other judges. This is if, as is likely, we are not strong enough to discomfort all Family Court judges. However, at this point I think virtually all excluded fathers would say that targetting one of two judges or social workers would be “unfair”.
The objective is to show the power to disrupt, or stop, at least part of the destructive bureaucracy. This is the opposite of our gaining “sympathy” or “understanding”. The public and the government will not “understand” or “sympathise” with those who “victimise” a judge or social worker.
On another matter, I recently failed to point out that excluded fathers are indifferent to my other idea, that excluded fathers should campaign for research into “outcome”; what is the state of children involved in divorce under particular judges five or ten years later. I have had no support form excluded fathers. The differential results would become clear within five years. The truanting, running away for home etc. of children previously under one judge would be far higher than under another judge. At that point we could “fairly” target that judge.
http://www.facebook.com/groups/2227stopabuse/#!/profile.php?id=100000607868251&sk=allactivity
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David Mortimer
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Fathers are catastrophically disadvantaged by the family courts. The existing legal system is based on nightmare assumptions that make it only too easy to exclude fathers from their children after divorce or separation. Damage to society is incalculable.
The changes to the Children Act proposed by the Government will do nothing to change this.
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David Mortimer
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These are my thoughts:
The Children Act 1989 in its current form provides for shared residence, although this is not equal residence but the Court has the facility to make orders for shared residence and does. There is resistence within the legal world to changing the Children Act as it is deemed as satisfactory because this facility exists.
Currently there is no legal presumption of equal residence. Back in 2005 when there was a major Government Consultation on Family Law the Judiciary stated we could not have it because there is only one presumption under the Children Act and that is that the welfare of the child is the paramount consideration. The Family Justice Review ‘Norgrove Report’ supports this. They stated that there is too much emphasis on time rather than quality of contact and refer to what happened in Australia when the legislation was changed, but the fact is time is a relevant factor as time is necessary to build and/or maintain a good father/child relationship and the current system allows a father’s time to be easily eroded. Residence and contact are inextricably intertwined. Time is relevant. The Government have stated that they feel some sort of legislation is necessary but their proposals in the Co-Parenting Consultation will not make any practical difference at all and is a waste of an opportunity.
If the post standard separation order was for shared residence that would put parents on an equal footing/starting point and send out a clear message about the importance of both parents in a child’s life. The existing caveats such as safety issues etc will still be in place etc. Those arguing against making this the standard post separation order will say that the danger with this is that this will cause more litigation as parents will be arguing how that residence is shared and it would not be practical, but the fact is parents who are acting in the best interests of their children will make things work. In any event it is impossible to introduce legislation that is the ‘all cure’ because a hostile parent who is determined to sabotage the arrangements will do it anyway, but that does not mean positive changes cannot be made.
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David Mortimer
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Please put your Fathers Rights hat on because 1 thing leads to another. We must use this issue to form a contact point with those who can make a difference. We must send to the UK Government the wording of how the children’s act should be worded in order to achieve what we all want which is a better future for us all. We must learn from what has already been said & done before things can change for the better. This could be a once in a life time opportunity to change the way the system of Government works for a better system based on fact & logic. Who can argue with that? Please get everyone to use the UK Fathers Rights group as a point of contact. Please send me the words which will achieve what we all want. Please send this message out to anyone who you think might be able to help.
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David Mortimer
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Who know’s what is possible with technology at our finger tips.
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David Mortimer
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We must learn from what has already been said & done before things can change for the better. Education is the key to change. Who can defy fact & logic. Only the guilty fear the truth.
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David Mortimer
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Ivor Catt
I note that my self-published book “The Hook and the Sting” http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/xk1hs1.htm is dated 1996. However, that is long after I got enmeshed in the family courts. It was around 1980 that I divorced my w…ife and lost more than all my £500,000 assets. The courts, which welcomed the perjured charges against me, left me with my tax debts. Although I had published books, I could not write about the subject for more than a decade because I was so heavily traumatised by the experience of the family courts. I could not attend “Fathers’ Rights” organisations and face other victims.
For four years I edited “Ill Eagle” for “Mankind” http://www.ivorcatt.co.uk/02.htm, but was expelled when I tried to stop Steve Fitzgerald from promoting the idea that one is six men experience domestic violence in the home. My argument was that if one added one in six to the false Stanko one in four “statistic” http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/1a170.htm, one risked the state taking children into care – a worse fate than being brought up by their single mother. I note that “Mankind” has now been converted from a “Fathers’ Rights” orgsanisation to a DV organisation.
It is tragic that Dr Michael Pelling and probably Oliver Cyriax have given up. In the High Court one day I heard (probably he was) Judge Munby pay tribute to what he describe as the very helpful contributions by Pelling to the family courts.
The fundamental problem, in my view, is that successive troupes of activists do not study the subject, and not only (like Matt O’Connor) despise past activists for failing to achieve anything (as he then failed), but themselves don’t do what is absolutely necessary, which is to read the literature so as to learn from the past, including radfem literature.
If activists would only read Melanie Phillips, Patricia Morgan, Lynette Burrows, radfem Catharine A MacKinnon, Daniel Amneus, Ivor Catt, Robert Whiston, Warren Farrell, Stephen Baskerville, they would have more clue as to what they were confronting.
The problem that Mens’ Rights organisations get rid of their best workers is an internatiolnal one, by the way. I think that happened with Baskerville in the USA. I saw it here in FNF in the 1980s.
Ivor Catt
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David Mortimer
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1) Use the retreat strategy.
2) If you have been threw the family court system & you publish your case history online (redacting the mother & child’s names) it will show everyone that they have all had the same problems with the same people.
3) We must also ask our MP’s to change the law again & publish their replies online so everyone knows who’s been asked & who dose not want to change the law.
http://www.equalparenting-bc.ca/issues/parenting-time-presumption.htm
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David Mortimer
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Dave Mortimer has held my hand to get me onto Facebook.
Three key points come out of my decades of work on excluded fathers. http://www.ivorcatt.co.uk/02.htm ; http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/xk1hs1.htm
1. The Retreat Strategy.
http://www.ivorcatt.com/2908.htm
http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/RETRE.htm
2. Fathers must defy court secrecy. They must pack the jails, as the suffragettes…did. Court secrecy is very damaging for our children.
3. Under national and international law and declaration, a child has no right of access to its parent.
http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/0a108.htm
http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/y9gdecon.htm
Similarly, a parent has no legal right of access to its child.
Ask your MP to ask these questions. My then MP promised to do so, and broke his promise.
Excluded fathers must campaign for legislation.
Once the law is enshrined, after a few years there will be a class action for damages against functionaries who broke the law.
Ivor Catt 20 October 2012See more
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David Mortimer
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I am going to see Ivor Catt tomorrow & will publish what he has to say it would be simply wrong not to learn from what he has said & be able to thank him while he is still alive.
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David Mortimer
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P.S
If you look on my facebook page & follow the links you will find the proof required to demand change & redress.
Best regards Dave
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David Mortimer
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Please join UK Fathers Rights on facebook so that we can demand change & redress.
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David Mortimer
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We can all help each other if we do one thing at a time. Change needs enough proof & support. We have the proof now we just need enough support. Please do what you can to help & pass this message on to anyone else you know who will help.
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David Mortimer
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My email has stopped working & our websites gone down.
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David Mortimer
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euro-dads : Urgent: Case histories called for to submit for EU enquiry
This nightmare will only end when enough people have published their case histories to prove that we have all had the same problems with the same people. There is nothing to stop us from demanding change and redress when enough people are simply willing to deal with one issue at a time .
Quote from Dave Mortimer, UK Fathers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/euro-dads/message/28443
Open letter: critical examination of ‘child contact’ conference
The UK family courts operate the ‘sole residency’ model of family law which is why the courts view separating couples as two legal components: the ‘resident parent’ and the ‘non-resident parent’ (who does not live with the child). Although these two legal concepts might sound similar they are viewed and treated completely differently in and by the family courts. The only legal right a non-resident parent actually has in law is that they can make an application to the courts for contact. They do not have any other significant or presumptive rights over their children. The basic problem with the children’s act is that it does not give parents reasonable or meaningful contact with their children after separation or divorce. It only gives them contact which can be just one letter a year. How much contact divorced parents should have with their children to ensure that their long term relationship is sustainable is what we need to know. I know for a fact that the basic problems with the current family law system with regard to contact will be explained at this conference.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/euro-dads/message/29959
I can’t give Dave M. any legal advice. But it does strike me that no one on the English groups is
learning law. I don’t understand why this should be so. We are busy at it in Canada and the U.S.A. and I don’t see why it can’t be the same in England. Dave’s questions are elementary, legally speaking, and easily answered. Some of you really need to get up to speed on legal issues. What is the problem? Is it the class thing or what, that has the English lagging behind everyone else on this issue?
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/euro-dads/message/9069?var=1
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David Mortimer
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Please will you help us, I beg you, as it seems no one in
the current system cares enough about children or what’s being done to men.
The judiciary in the UK are independent from Government, ignore European law
and are guilty of being biased against men. The German Government did the
same thing and were found to be guilty in the European Court of Justice but
the UK legal system has been so badly corrupted by Government, with no one
checking on what family court judges do because they work in secret and
alone, that unless the media save us by putting the spotlight on these
greedy, uncaring people, we are all at risk of becoming victims in the end,
and things will only get worse.
How can so called educated professional people who are supposed to represent
the law and have the best interests of our children at heart choose to
ignore what’s been studied and accepted in so many other counties? Surely if
the public were asked they would think that these people who decide that
they have the right to interpose themselves in private family decisions are
clearly guilty of profiting from divorce?
In the UK there is a huge amount of help for women after
divorce which actually encourages divorce. In the UK there are over 500
women’s refuges and women’s groups receive over 50 million pounds a year in
funding whilst men get nothing.
If the Home Office produce reports that accept men and women are both
victims of domestic violence, and men are the ones who are always thrown out
of the family home when couples separate or divorce, then it is so
transparently unjust that there no men’s refuges that it is small wonder
that men become brutalised and alienated from society. They have nowhere to
turn, they must endure. This is their lot in life. What colossal social,
economic, legal and political hypocrisy!
At the moment men are committing suicide 4 times more often than women
because there is no help or hope for men after divorce. In countries were
they have fault-divorce and shared parenting, divorce is reduced and the
adverse effects on all groups, particularly children, and the cost to
society is reduced.
We are just ordinary men, fathers who love our children, but when judges do
not act in the best interests of our children and do not respect our
children’s rights or men’s rights, we have nowhere to turn. If the public
were asked they would surely think there’s something very wrong with our
courts. The courts have created a society where people have no faith in the
law because judges have refused for years to enforce their own orders for
contact, never punishing mothers that break these orders. The courts have
created resentment by supporting one parent as a matter of dogma, of patent
bias, this is our reality.
And because there is no help for men after divorce, this has led to
frustration. Because of the stress, through the court authorised removal of
children from men, through the profiteering from this misery by
professionals, men become depressed and many give up and commit suicide. The
government do not treat men and women equally in the family and only see men
as abusers of women and children but in fact that could not be further from
the truth. More women than men actually abuse their children.
How many more men must die before we are given the same help and support as
women receive after divorce? The Children’s Act has been twisted not to
protect our children but to assure the best interests of the mother. The
assumption that it is damaging to remove a child from its mother totally
ignores the obvious fact that it is also as damaging to remove them from
their father. It shows that our judges give no consideration to the reams of
studies showing that children bond with both parents, achieving their own
sense of identity and the possibility of love and security in a society of
both sexes thereby.
The courts have created a fatherless society, a society of maimed and
alienated, socially indifferent young men and women, without the power of
empathy or compassion towards each other. We have all seen a rise in
anti-social behaviour in our youth, more teenage mothers, more children
turning to drink , drugs and crime. We have all seen the murderers and
rapists we choose to revile, in jail, explaining the abuse and callousness
that has inured them to the grief and harm they do to others.
The Government and the courts will of cause blame the parents but this will
not wash because of what is now known and this in time leads to men forming
groups like Fathers4Justice who in less than 9 months now have over 4,000
members who will in time demand justice. Why not give them this justice,
this compassion and this empathy as of right? Why not take the manly step of
putting things right before you are forced to by common decency and the
profound anguish of those children and parents whose lives are already being
ruined by this hideous system?
It is no longer deniable that removing fathers from children’s lives does
not give children a balanced psycho-social upbringing. This anguish does not
merely reap its bitter harvest amongst men but also amongst those who try to
love them dearly, the single mothers and children who also long for security
and love with men who have an honoured place amongst them. What is money and
institutional support if your children cannot play happily with a father who
is a respected contributor to the family sphere? Where is the humanity in
isolating mothers and children from fathers treated like beasts? Is a world
of institutionalised men and women, begging for hand-outs in resignation to
their fate what this society really needs? Is punishment the only thing you
wish us to understand? How many prisoners are men from fatherless families?
Support families, not individuals living lives of crisp indifference to
their fellow men. This situation is intolerable, and all those who fail to
speak out are party to it. Enough is enough. Stop this social carnage!
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David Mortimer
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If the internet is a historic record we must learn from it & do things different or nothing will ever change.
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David Mortimer
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My analysis below was in 1998. There is no evidence that any excluded fathers are interested in this analysis. There can be no reform until some fathers take an interest in the realpolitic involved.
http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/EPIGR.htm
http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/yadfthou.htm
There is absolutely no discussion as to whether the above analysis is accurate. There is only indifference. Decades ago, I said; “An excluded father would rather lose family, children, home and future income rather than think.” All he wants is sympathy. This applies to virtually all excluded fathers. Those few who do apply their brains to the problem are ignored. Perhaps no member of any Men’s organisation has heard of “The Retreat Strategy”. http://www.ivorcatt.com/2908.htm
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David Mortimer
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http://www.mortimers-removals.co.uk/ukfathers.htm
Dr Michael Pelling put enormous effort into reforming the family courts. In
the High Court a judge said; “Dr Pelling’s work in the family courts has
been extremely helpful.” I was there. Recently Pelling told me he had given
up. He also said the Mens’ Movements were pathetic. Each of the Mens’
Movements expels their best worker, including me. Eugen Hockenjos worked for
seven years to win a case in the highest court. In response, the government
changed the law so that the next man would have to start all over again.
Recently Eugen told me he had failed.
I worry about a man who works too many decades on this matter, for instance
Robert Whiston. For one thing, their women hate it. I think that
psychologically it is very damaging.
New men come into the Mens’ Movements and are contemptuous of the failure of
previous activists to achieve anything. Matt O’Connor was going to get
results in two years, he told me. He had contempt to those who went before
him. He is not the only one. If you talk to a new recruit, he immediately
knows that your analysis is wrong. Also, he refuses to read the relevant
books, for instance Melanie Phillips, Erin Pizzey, Patricia Morgan, Ivor
Catt or the radfems like Catharine MacKinnon. Thus all the campaigning for
fathers’ rights is based on ignorance.
The “Retreat” strategy has been successful on all four occasions, and no
more fathers are willing to use it. http://www.ivorcatt.com/2908.htm. Matt
told me he used it successfully, and then did not tell his members about it.
I established that under all law, national and international, a child has no
right of access to its father. Divorced/divorcing fathers are indifferent to
this information. They are not interested in campaigning for legislation on
the matter.
We have to sit and watch further generations of children being badly damaged
by the family courts.
Fathers are unwilling to defy the court’s rules of secrecy, as I demanded
twenty years ago.
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David Mortimer
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It is useful to get into the mind set of a judge or social worker in our secret family courts. If a father is separated from his children it is probably because he batters them or sexually abuses them. The safety of the child is the first responsibility of the judge. He/she knows that a significant proportion of fathers batter and/or engage in child sexual abuse. If a marriage has broken down the father almost certainly did. The decision is made “on the balance of probability” to make sure the child is safe.
All legislation, past and future, will contain the caveat “unless the child is in danger”. Thus, all legislation can be ignored by the judge, because the greatest threat to a child is its father.
Under UN Declaration, a child has right of access to its parent “unless this might endanger the child.”. This kind of caveat is always added, so children will always lose contact with their fathers.
Reform requires removing “balance of probability” decisions in our family courts. Legislation requires that once the charge of violence or child sexual abuse has been made, the matter must be transferred to the criminal courts, where the basis of decision is “beyond reasonable doubt”. The hijacking of criminal matters by our family courts must be stopped.
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David Mortimer
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I’ve asked asked Mark Lancaster MP if a father can take legal action against a judge who would not enforce his own contact order?
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David Mortimer
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Is there anyone out there who would like to review my case? What legal action can I take against the judge who would not enforce his own contact order?
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David Mortimer
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What do you think?
ATB Dave
http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/2012/09/21/british-draft-family-legislation-leaves-fathers-and-children-out-in-the-cold/
British Draft Family Legislation Leaves Fathers and Children Out in the Cold
Fathers and Families
September 21st, 2012 by Robert Franklin, Esq.
Almost 2 1/2 years after the coalition government of David Cameron and Nicholas Clegg was voted into office, its draft legislation on family justice has finally been published. During all that time, plus the run-up to the election, both Conservatives and Liberal Democrats made noises about improving the pitiful lot of fathers in divorce and custody cases. The infamous Family Justice Review, aka The Norgrove Report, made its recommendations which were summarily tossed into the nearest dumpster, and the government soldiered on to, advocates for fathers and children hoped, reform family law to ensure a meaningful relationship between children and both their parents post-divorce. The governments exact recommendations havent been known until now, but their publication reveals that fathers and their children are to get nothing. Thats right, the closest thing the draft legislation contains that might be called father/child-friendly, is the admonition that, the arrangements for children following parental divorce or separation reflect the benefit to the child of maintaining the ongoing involvement of both parents in a childs life.
Theres no requirement that any court actually do anything at any time regarding paternal custody, paternal parenting time or enforcement of visitation orders. Theres not a peep about the rights of children to keep Dad in their lives post-divorce. What does a fathers ongoing involvement in his childs life mean? Thats not defined, so it can mean anything any individual judge wishes it to mean. Perhaps a Christmas card once a year would suffice. What about monthly via Skype with his child whose mother has been allowed to move with him/her to Australia? Come to think of it, the latter has already been ruled to be sufficient father-child contact by one British court, and theres nothing to suggest the draft legislation would change that ruling.
In fact, the Norgrove Report, that so many thought to be DOA at the time of its publication, has, like Nosferatu, come back to life in the form of the draft legislation. Like the Norgrove Report, the draft legislation has nothing to do with fathers or their childrens welfare and everything to do with expediting the process of divorce and custody proceedings. Theres mandatory mediation and time limits placed on temporary orders, etc., so its clear what the government deems important lowering costs.
Im all for efficiency, and mediation can be a good thing, but fathers and children will not benefit one whit from mandatory mediation. That’s because, when one of them files for divorce, both Mom and Dad know that she is 90% likely to get custody, so when they go to mediation, Mom wont agree to anything less. Why would she?
The simple fact is that, after years of waiting and wondering, another government has kicked fathers to the curb. Yet again, fathers have been deemed too unimportant to children to merit a single line in a statute assuring their full participation in their lives post-divorce. Once again, the value of fathers in the eyes of elected officials has been made clear; fathers are wallets and little more. The government has again looked at the continuing scandal of fatherless children in the country and shrugged its shoulders.
Its a national disgrace, but of course its not confined to England. The same scenario plays out in country after country, state after state. It is long past time for it to end.
Fathers rights activists have for decades showed public officials and anyone who would listen the mountains of social science on the importance of fathers to children. Anyone who wanted to could see the deleterious effects of fatherlessness in newspapers, magazines and the Internet every day of the week. A few minutes thought would tell anyone that, as a simple matter of economics, keeping fathers and children connected makes sense. How much money do we spend every year trying to address social problems of crime, drug and alcohol abuse, boys educational difficulties, teen pregnancy etc. that fathers themselves could hugely ameliorate? The reasons to keep fathers in childrens lives are many and there is no real counterargument.
The point is, weve been right all along, but have almost nothing to show for it. Rightness, justice, morality, gender equality, childrens well-being should be enough, but they arent. That means it is time to take the next step. We have to stop asking and start demanding. As a practical matter, that means that elected officials must not only respect us, they must fear our electoral clout. They need to know to a certainty that they have to vote the right way or risk losing their seats in Parliament, etc. I guarantee that once that message is delivered in only a few elections, the same officials who seem not to grasp the importance of fathers will begin to do exactly that, the right legislation will start to be passed and wrong legislation, like the draft legislation thats just been made public, will start to fail.
Fathers rights to their children and childrens rights to their fathers transcend party politics. Those who support those rights must vote solely on the basis of a candidates support or opposition irrespective of party. We must become single-issue voters. Weve tried Mr. Nice Guy and he finished last. Its time for a change.
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Dave Dabrowska
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My daughter lives with me but I have no PR agreement can her mother over ride my decision about vaccinations . We were never married and my daughter was born in 1999. My name is on the birth certificate.
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David Mortimer
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Where is the proof that sole residency is in the best interests of children?
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David Mortimer
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Are the family courts so biased towards mothers that they are putting their lives at risk. How many more times are we going to read about a father killing himself or somebody else. When are they going to stop abusing families for profit. How can this be allowed to continue. When will those responsiable to held to account. Justice must be seen to be believed. The currect system will make is all victims in the end. When are we going to see real change & redress.
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Dad Dee
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I’m on that slippery slope now myself and there is no handhold and no footing…i’m scrabbling and panicking and not sleeping for thinking about what the honourable judge, then supported by the three Lords have just taken from my helpless daughter. They handed her a facsimile of a father, with a walk on part, saying that she is so young she wont know the difference and what mum wants (not needs) is very important. What is this ? it’s not fair, not right and my daughter deserves better from the Law.
They decided my 2 and half year old doesn’t really need what I give, and wont miss it. What do I give ? …well for 7 months I cared for my daughter myself , for a night with 2 full days either side….each and every week. Then for a further year I devoted myself to my beautiful daughter for 2 nights and 3 full days …..each and every week. I did this while working 4 days a week and funding £35k or so of legal bills with £25k on credit cards, the mum’s costs are sponsored by the glorious law of England and Wales. You fathers would all do the same if you could.
I was going for 50/50 shared residency, mum was trying to relocate 3 and a half hours away and had written that she wanted minimise my contact very early on, having left her because of her behaviour manifested against me in front of the child, and knowing her well, I applied to the courts to secure the best relationship for my daughter with me that she could possibly have. My barrister only told me as I shuffled from the court of appeal in a daze that it had only ever been granted previously when both sides have consented, that I am 5 years ahead of my time in law.
Now the court has given mum everything she wanted, I will see my daughter only fortnightly for a fraction of the time, they gave me half school holidays but I would have had that with 50/50 shared residency anyway and it’s not a fraction as worthwhile for my daughter as that weekly care I gave. The law is meant to consider the loss for the child and to make the welfare of the child central. The loss of this positive quality of fathering to my daughter and it’s importance to her over the next 14 years is regarded as nothing of note. Mum’s aspiration to relocate meant the current weekly contact would have been unsustainable with the travelling, so the honourable judge made an order to take weekly contact off me in order that she could then make an order to allow the mother to relocate. No matter that mum was born 5 minutes from me, went to school 5 minutes from me, worked in this city before we met, that we met in this city. No matter that it is of no hardship to mum to remain in this city, only as i would have had to have done, only making the same commitment I would be having to make. The judge didn’t ask one question about my care, social services said that 50/50 would be viable if mum and me were able to communicate, especially by the time my daughter is of school age. The honourable judge had to make findings against me, mum’s barrister pummelled me for 3 and a half hours, the new boyfriend testified against me(he lives where mum is going to take my daughter to of course) , mum’s mum testified against me. The findings were made as they had to be made and now the law says they are as good as fact, I hadn’t brought a witness, it’s too late now. My witness would have been a friend, a child care professional I have known 10 years who says I am the best carer father she has ever seen and considers my daughter will indeed suffer with the increased separation. Now the court has officially branded me in writing as the control freak trying to control mum (heard that one before anyone ? ), not a desperate father trying to control access to his baby after ending an abusive relationship. The honourable lady judge, now retired had to ignore mum’s behaviour, obvious intentions and history, had to credit her witnesses as being reliable to do this and she was so desperate to make it watertight she mis-quoted the social services report and mis-represented my position and words when summing up her judgement. The Lords didn’t reverse the judgement despite there being no professional assessment of what my daughter loses or how it will affect her, social services had in fact recommended that weekly contact should continue.
So now my helpless little girl’s life will shortly change direction for ever, whether mum moves or not, she will see her daddy once a fortnight and I have no doubt that at first she will be expecting to hear me at the door every weekend only for daddy to let her down. She will ask for Daddy, god knows what she will be told apart from….. “…it’s ok ……mummy’s here darling…daddy’s not”
It’s one thing mum’s abusing father’s and denying their children like this but I can’t stand the state actively taking a role to support and sponsor it. The role of father is not respected or valued, our little boys and girls are not protected, things have not changed for the better, I need an explanation, I think we all do and that we should get together and make sure change comes to this sick system and country that can’t look after it’s children’s true needs and rights and relegates us father’s to second class status.
So now mum gets more maintenance, she gets her government performance bonus for minimising her daughter’s contact with her father…….we need to march, have a bloody big polite and responsible march.
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david edwards
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I split with my wife 2 years ago we remained friend for the good of our little girl who is 12 since then we were both made redundant . we worked for the same firm, i have lived in a private rented 2 bed house my girl stays with me every weekend and all the school holidays i have had to sign on benefits but the benefits office has said they will not pay my rent after 13 weeks i have to move into a one bed flat( i have never been out of work in 30 years most of that was spent in the army)
moving into a flat would mean that my daughter could not stop over night i have spoke to the benefits office and said i have no rights ‘and its not there problem can any body give me a glimmer of hope as my daughter means the world to me .I’m sure this is not right i have paid my due,s to this country how can they do this .!!!!!!!!!! David
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David Mortimer
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How many more men must die?
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David Mortimer
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If you always do what you have always done the same thing will always happen. Change only needs enough proof & support. It seems Ivor was right & that nothing will change until enough people die. It seems Andrews proved beyond any reasonable doubt the double fraud perpretrated on the tax payer. It seems the family law system will make us all victims in the end. We need to put things right. Nobody in the system is ever going to question what pays them so well. We must help each other & deal with one issue at a time. Ask one question at a time. Learn from what others have already said & done.
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David Mortimer
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She can contact the CSA at any time. They can make you pay child support up until the child leaves full time eduction. The CSA has a truly dreadful record & should be abolished.
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David Mortimer
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PR or parental responsibility = you will be held to account for the actions of your child/ren & you will have to pay for their up bringing even thou you don’t have any legal or presumptive right to see them. The whole family justice system is wrong & everyone should ask those who are responsiable for the proof that sole custody is in the long term best interests of children after seperation or divorce given the poor outcomes & cost.
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julianne
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@ michael, “I was wondering a girl i was seeing in a very casual manner has told me she is pregnant….” Yes michael she can get money from you if she changes her mind because in the UK ALL FATHERS have to pay child support some how
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David Mortimer
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Tue family justice system feeds it’s self by abuseing families for profit.
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julianne
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Hi guys I have a question and I welcome any feedback. Do you think ALL fathers in the uk should get AUTOMATIC parental responsibility (PR). Just to explain, PR is when a father has all legal rights over his child concerning the general upbringing of his children, however in the UK only married fathers get this right automatically, unmarried fathers have to go through a process to get PR automatically and if they don’t then they may not have PR. do you think this is unfair?
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Michael
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I was wondering a girl i was seeing in a very casual manner has told me she is pregnant, if she decides to keep the child she is quite happy for me to walk away from the situation. In that case and I am not named on the birth certificate and sign nothing and simply disappear and give up all rights as a parent as she will be able to cope financially on her own and we had agreed to stop seeing each other do I have any worries about her potentially trying to get money out of me in 5,10,15 years time?
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Rachael
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My partner has been separated from his wife for almost two years. When she learned of our relationship she mad up lies about him. She filed several reports with police and he was investigated. She refused to let him see his children and he was granted two hours a week at a contact centre supervised by staff and her father. He was told initially that the court was waiting to see if there was any substantiation to her allegations. When it was eventually proven that there was no evidence and that there was no prosecution due to the lack of evidence we thought that would be an end to the supervised access. the day the judge stated that my partner could finally have unsupervised contact. She used more of her stalling tactics and stated she needed someone to talk to their son. The judge postponed his decision and lo and behold the son stated he was afraid to have unsupervised contact. The daughter wanted contact but again the son said he was concerned. As such my partner had yet more hoops to jump through. Another eight months of court cases (nearly £10000 on solicitor’s fees for us) (hers is free on legal aid, despite her earning more than us on benefits) the judge and social services decided that whilst the children are now ready to see him and even though it was decided it was in their best interest to see him, they now state that his soon to be ex wife is not ready and until they can forge a relationship the access should remain supervised. So as such my partner has taken the soul destroying decision to walk away until his children can make their own minds.
This has destroyed him; he has contemplated suicide, has had severe depression and misses them terribly. His ex harassed us for a year, we had to get the police involved yet no one would stand against her. I am devastated for my partner, I want him to be as happy as he can be, and I want his children to have the benefit of him in their lives as he is an amazing man. I just don’t know what to do for him. I know for certain that his ex is alienating his children against him; I also know that he is never going to be able to have a relationship with his children as in a few years too much damage will have been done. I have even considered applying for the Jeremy Kyle show just so one day they can see that he tried everything. Any help would be appreciated.
Further information, My partner is married to his ex, they have two children both born after the marriage. He was with her for 17 years and during that time was kept as a prisoner to her beck and call. He tried to leave her nearly five years ago- but she threatened to make allegations of spousal and child abuse – threats that she has now carried through.
I don’t know what to do. My partner desperately wants to see his kids. I will do anything it takes to help him.
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terry walsh
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i am trying to cram in as much as i can for personal reasons..im still a tramp, i still cant go out ofd the house apart from the little shop.i cant talk properly and i cant control bursting into tears at any time..if there is more than 2 or 3 people in the shop i walk around until i can go in, i am on so many tablets for one thing and the rest, anti depressants even vitamins because i dont get enough day light, i have stopped every single social thing i did,i dont see my friends i stopped my music, going to united and fc united, the inside of me, the soul i had, has sl;owly been ripped out and im not me any more..this is what i ended up doing, i couldnt even read the newspaper or play a record,watch tv, all the usual things that keep you occupied, even drinking and smoking stopped and it was me sat in the house house sober in this fucking sick country that favours child rapists and child murderers with human rights, and everyday i sat in silence really losing my sanity and one day it happened and i have never been so scared, i can only describe it as going inside my own head and it was a battle i had to get back out ,i thought it was how i would end up lost in this sick troubled mind that there is no way to fix or make better.the damage was done years ago an it gets worse because it will only stop when im out of here..i cant lay a guilt trip on my children by ending it,i just hope i dont wake in the morning..every night..its at me me in my sleep with dirty evil nightmares that wake me..i am able to to do this through my medication, my doctor is my life, i never thought this could happen to another human in england, not an innocent loving father of two girls aged 6 and 9 and not a finger of help from the court who were giving me access from day one until 5 years later when it was over 18 month before, 18 month and no matter how many times we pleaded with the judge he never even replied,never had a talk through, but just let the mother do what she did 12 years ago…my girls are 17 and 21 within 3 months of each other and i havent seen them all that time..i want answers and i dont want anymore of this weird vendetta against fathers and end up like me numb from the head down and life over..i want to front that fucking man who himself has kids that voted against me,innocent as i am from having any rights when i split up with the mother..the married dads are still paying maintenance and some of their ex wives are with new partners and still have no rights …his name is i think Norwood, David norwood and here is a question, if some faceless runt had the power with a couple of others to cast a vote over you not to have any rights even as a loving father( and with no reason given by my ex in court) no threat,even this was said from my ex, 100% no problem, well what exactly have i done to get such treatment and i want him to explain to me why i need to die..and because of what he has done, and how would he deal with living after missing the childrens childhood and now adulthood, while giving all the scum human rights..? thats just clearly saying i am not classed as a human being…i am not classed as a father, jesus i want to to see him so much…how can i set it up on my terms?
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terry walsh
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I am 51.i went to mediation, then court, then crown..5 years back and forward with no reason offered by the childrens mother that should stop me getting access…from the very 1st i was given access and from the very 1st it was a lesson in the pretence of the justice system in england and the criminal inhuman way the father is A..GIVEN 4 hours access by the court .this was for one saturday a fortnight…i saw the children approx ten times in the five years of court..not once was the mother warned.,the mother never bothered to attend court eventually…on top of this i had to get a court order for the mother to stay away from my home…she would still later turn up with the children on occasions at night and leave me no choice but let her stay because i was worried about the children..i must add,there was no attempt at all by the mother to try and re-new the relationship and both times her and the children stayed downstairs…she made me swear to say nothing about these visits. ………i cant carry on with this now.i last saw my children approx 11 years ago, and my oldest girl is 21 soon, my youngest is16 in 3 weeks…..how can this have happened? if it was not for my doctor i would be dead but i am allready…i dont want to wake up every morning.
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Chris Blake
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Hi, this may sound like a silly question but here goes. My ex wife has remarried and I have given her permission for my Daughter to have the same surname as her new husband, do I still have the same rights, we were married for 2 years before she was born.
Thank you
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martyna
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can somebody tell me if my husband has to give his ex our adress?
My husband has 3 children with his ex wife, all 3 live with her. He pays his meintenance on regural basis to her( they do not use CSA but heave written agreement). Depending on his health( my husband is diabetic and has anemia)and work ( he has to work every other weekend) he takes one of his children for the weekend ( it works better for children as he can give them more attention on 1 to 1 basis). since his ex remaried she keep asking for our new adress, she never asked before as long as my my husband agreed to what she wanted. lately when my husband started saying “no”to her unresonable requests she became abussive ( at the moment text messages and emails) or wont answer the phone when my husband is calling his children. I am concerned about our safety.