I Just Want To Be A Good Dad

your site is excellent thank you for all those that have set this up ,, The country however is a total joke sort this one out government , let fathers be a equal part in the upbringing of there children punish those that parent alianate , Broken Britain well dam fix it by changing the laws for fathers they would see a massive change , all fathers outh there like myself who are fighting for the welfare of there children Never NEVER QUIT NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES OUR CHILDREN WILL LEARN THE TRUTH
thank you again for this site whos prepared to go to parliment with me .

I split from my wife nearly 2 years ago lost everthing house kids even the pets didn’t mind getting rid of mother in law as she is a control freak . i have taken her to court 6 times to get to c my kids but when i get something she says i did not agree with court order strange that so i wonder who was agreeing when the judge asked her .
Today she was seen hiding from me in solicitors door way with a friend who was seen checking to c if i had moved away . so she is up to something . BUT WHY USE KIDS AS A WEAPON. oh sorry forgot bitch mode.

The only thing that is keeping me with my girlfriend now is our daughter. I love my little girl so much and know that in this country UK law sides with the woman. I have said to my girlfriend i would happily leave if i would be given 50/50 custody, but she will not do this: claiming the usual SHE is my child, i gave birth to her speech!!

Irrelevant

I now have to live in this lie of a relationship – dont fear the child is still being brought up in a happy environment in fact i have never seen such a happy child (yes i’m sure we all say that). I look forward so much to coming home from work just to see my little girl. It would kill me not being able to do that everyday.

UK system is pathetically behind.

I have just found your blog, read significant amounts of it and to say that your story and experience resonate with me greatly would be somewhat of an understatement. Since splitting with my Ex we have operated a shared parenting arrangement on a 50/50 basis for 13 months. It has gone mostly without issue but certain difficulties led to an application to the court. At our first directions hearing the judge presiding over the case suggested that this was a kid gloves situation as we were so close to long term agreement, a month passed and we had another directions hearing this time with a different judge who, within 5 minutes of not really being interested in the case, deeply upset my child and all but destroyed my life. I was given 2 hours at a contact centre once a week, after caring for my daughter for half her time for over a year. My daughter has gone from having two homes to having one and only seeing me when ordered. I have changed everything to cater for her, my working hours and practices, I have had to turn away business on the basis of having a child that I want to care for who loves living with me yet none of this made any difference whatsoever. A judgement passed without consideration has enabled my ex to weaponise our daughter and is now actively alienating me. We are back in court again soon, for reasons that aren’t overly clear but what is clear is that the British Family Court system is so alarmingly arbitrary and adversarial as to ensure that the child loses in every single instance. The day before we went to court we had agreed to place our differences aside for the sake of our daughter and in the blink of an eye a disconnected public servant destroyed any chance we may have had of doing this, made a child deeply unhappy and created yet another father who only wants to be part of his child’s life. I’d like to offer my support to your case and I’d like to be part of anything which changes the premise for family cases to follow the Australian model. Our system is patently patently wrong and it must change because the more children that go through it, the more children that will be hurt.

Best,
M

OMG, I have just read “I Just Want To Be A Good Dad” and I can only empathise with you. I am in a nasty court battle with my ex over our 2 girls who are 11 & 8. Since we split I had a court order allowing 1 visit a month, but this never happened every month and my solicitor advised me not to peruse it as we were trying to settle the divorce. I now have a different solicitor after losing everything:(
My ex then stopped all contact, visits, letters & phone calls & stopped mine and her own parents seeing the kids. She had another child with the man she left me for & has since left him & is marrying another man. I have no idea where my children are living as she keeps moving and the kids have an unsettled life with differing men around. I have been to court again to gain access to my girls, but my ex is now accusing me of all sorts of abuse to stop me seeing them, even her own mother wrote to the court supporting me and the girls being re-united. My father died and she wouldn’t even let the girls say goodbye to their grandad or to visit their grandmother to comfort her. I am now 3 years on from our split and I still do not see my girls, I was advised not to approach them by my solicitor as the ex would use it against me in court, so I have to be very patient. The last time I saw them was for fathers day in June, thats a total of 3 times this year!. I have thought about giving up the fight many times as it is emotionally draining, but as most fathers on here know the love of your children is worth the effort. I have since been to court and I am allowed one phone call per week until CAFCASS reports are completed and the judge makes his decision, this wont be until 2011. I am still living in hope that I will get to see my beautiful girls again and to give them the cuddles that they deserve.
It does seem that family courts in this country are very sexist and biased towards women and I think this is a reason that some men give up fighting. My advise is to keep going no matter what is thrown at you as the truth will come out in the end, its taken 3 years for me. My ex’s family & friends, even the man she had a child with are backing me after realising what a pathological liar my ex is. So dont give up, its worth it just to see your kids happy.

Hi mate. I can sympathsise with you. I have a five year old girl named Niamh with my ex-wife, I haven’t seen her for two half years despite going through courts the two years prior to that. My ex is more than happy to take the CSA cash every month and reported me for changing my job recently, but not so happy for me to have contact with our daughter.
I have another daughter now with my wife and I am a great dad for her, it pains me though to know that Niamh is missing out on a full family – a dad, sister, my wife, grand parents, an aunt, cousins.
The only advice I can give is to stick with it, as I am sure you will. It is difficult just now and the reality is that it will probably get worse before it gets better. I do wish you the very best of luck and I hope that you have more success than I have.
Maybe one day fathers rights will mean something and carry more weight.

Mate i feel for you , I read your story and it so reminds me of myself and my situation at the minute. I have no advice for you other than keep trying and dont give up hope , thats what ive done !

Hold your head up and carry on with the courts and hopefully fathers will get some sort of justice one day .